Traffic Light and Fancy Dress

Fancy Dress is a concept that I have still been unable to grasp even after having been surrounded by it for the past three months. When I first heard that I was invited to a fancy dress party, I was concerned because all I brought with me was ski gear and hoodies. My mind was unable to grasp the reasons as to why seasonaires would bring fancy dresses to a ski resort. Ski resorts are supposed to harbor rank ski pants and torn ski jackets, not prom dresses. When I finally realized what a 'fancy dress party' was, my mind was opened to a new world. I felt as though I had not yet lived life to the fullest. Fortunately for me, the Brits have expanded my horizons and have opened my eyes. The Brits use the excuse of a fancy dress whenever they can and however they can. Last week I had a group of 10 lads who decided to show up in fancy dress for dinner. Now, this fancy dress is not the type of dress parties we have in America where girls use any excuse to dress up like prostitutes. Much time and thought goes into the preparation of the fancy dress costumes. One was dressed up as Betty Rubble, with the dress, wig, and whole dealio. He even had scary contacts to go with this entire getup. I marveled at the thought of them purchasing their outfits in the UK and packing their bags for their trip. When I saw them walk out into the dinning room in their costumes I gasped, worried that they might upset the other guests. I quickly realized that all other guests deemed it all to be quite normal. I was just the ignorant one. This was the most brilliant part of the entire episode. Not only do the Brits like to get dressed up in fancy dress for dinners and a night out, these 'Punters' (as the British ski tourists are called) dress up in a fancy dress when they ski. It is by far the most ridiculous thing I have ever seen. I have seen people dressed up as cats, cowboys, 80s skiers, etc...They don't just have the hats or cats tails, they have the entire getup.

Last night I was introduced to the most brilliant fancy dress concept of them all; Traffic Light Parties. Apparently, everyone dresses up as a traffic light. If you are single and willing, you dress up as a green traffic light. If you are taken and no where near available, you dress up as a red traffic light. If you are somewhat available and there is a small chance you may be interested, you dress up as a yellow traffic light. I was speechless when I found out about this wonder. My question is, how do you get away with dressing up as a yellow traffic light when your partner is attending the shindig with you???

PS. My assistant chef quit again. This is what the 9th time now that we have lost a chef? Splendid.

Thank you to Terra, Bernie, Claud, Mom and Dad, and Carrie for sending me the lovely packages that I have been receiving daily. The cards were all hung up on my wall. The candy was all promptly eaten. Skiing was avoided so that I could read all of the trashy nuddie magazines. Thank you thank you! Receiving these pieces of home were just what I needed.