A Courch Christmas

Joyeaux Noel to everyone! I hope you all have had a wonderful Christmas.

Although I already celebrated Christmas with Claud and Lars in November, I felt the need to participate in the current Christmas. The Christmas celebrations started off with the "Bin Bag ball" that took place on Tuesday night. As Wednesday was our day off, we all knew we had to take part. I was not privy to the preparation that goes into a bin bag ball as I did not really know what a bin bag was up until 2 weeks ago. Turns out it is a trash bag. Wanting to feel cool I decided to participate. I made a pretty little so called prom dress out of my bin bag and proceeded to get absolutely hammered in about 5 minutes. I blame it all on the altitude and the fact that I am 28 and just cant hang like the 18 year olds. I ended up passing out, sitting up in my bed, around 11 PM. All in all it was an extremely successful evening for me. My roommate still thinks I am a tool since she came in at 4 am and found me sitting up as if I was trying to read a book. Damn spins.

The next day we had the day off so we all hit the hill. It had snowed several inches the night before and I made sure I was on the first lift. The powder was amazing and we spent the most of the day in the snow. At the end of the day we met up with our group for some sledding. My boss and our rep had organized some fun for us. I remember thinking initially how lame sledding is and how much I hate it since I could not forget my previous sledding experience that led to me having a concussion. Regardless, I figured it would be super lame and boring. Turns out there are no rules in France when it comes to sledding, or anything really. When they sled here it does not remotely come close to what we are used to in the States. The type of sledding they do is down dark runs that are closed off, in the middle of forests, extremely bumpy, and all around deadly. It was absolutely hilarious. There were 15 of us bombing it down these runs. I am still surprised that no one died. Apparently last year several people dislocated shoulders, knees, elbows, what have you and had to end their season there. After that we headed down the Valley to La Pras for some burgers.

On Thursday, Christmas Eve Day, we were told to meet my boss and our rep on the hill after breakfast. We quickly sorted out the Chalet and made our way up there. We were greeted by two Santa's who looked a bit shady and scared most of those passing by, especially children. Charlie and Mike, our Santa's, had planned out a fun little mountain game for us that involved us chasing in them around the runs, gaining points for tackling them or pounding them with eggs, as well as additional points for the best naked ski tricks. My team won of course. It was by far the most fun I have had since I have been here. The looks on peoples faces as we bombed down the mountain in hopes of tackling the two pervy Santa's was priceless. My favorite moment from the day came when after having been tackled by 2 members of my team, a little girl skis past Santa Mike, sees him on the ground covered in eggs and shaving cream, and yells at the top of her lungs, "Someone save Santa, he is being attacked." Priceless.

The following day I headed up to the hill with my three ski buddies; Mike, Charlie, and Ian. Since it had snowed so much the following two days, we knew it was going to be a great day. Never did we expect it to be as great as it was. We spent the day off piste, skiing most of the tree runs that were to be had. We took a break and skied down to La Tania to have burgers. After all, it was Christmas and we had a lot to celebrate. That evening we served our guests the traditional English Christmas dinner. After dinner I was pulled aside by one of our guests who requested that I have the entire staff come out. He ended up orating a 10 minute speech about what a phenomenal team we were and how we had done such an amazing job the entire week. Hearing that made us forget all of the crap that happened the week before. It also reminded me that for every 10 assholes, there is always 1 person that makes up for their shortcomings. I was reassured about the entire operation and felt confident to proceed.

All in all, I have to say this Christmas was by far the best Christmas I have ever had. Who gets to celebrate Christmas twice in two months?

Happy New Year!!!!

I am not sure how to sum up this week in the best manner possible. Everytime I try to think of a way to sum it up I keep thinking of a melange of the words cauchmar and brilliant. Cauchmar is the French word for nightmare. Brilliant is the term that my new British friends use to describe anything amazing. Let me explain.

Our first guests arrived on Sunday. As I am partaking in a hybrid role, I am also a Resort Rep. This means that I take off for the Geneva airport at 5 am with the rest of the representatives from the various resorts. I then pick up my 50+ people from the Chalets in Courchevel 1550, 1650, and 1850 and I do my best to make sure they get to their respective homes. The first transfer last week, the only one that I have done, was extremely thrilling but also sickening. I did not realize that I get car sick on winding roads. As I was standing up part of the way while dealing with forms and lift passes, while at the same time trying to remain my balance while my bus driver Auguste drove up the curvy roads as though he was in a rally car race, I was pretty sure I was going to loose my lunch on my first guests of the season. I also had a moment of shear panic when I convinced myself that I had left two guests at the rest stop. There is a rest stop that is halfway in between the Geneva airport and Courchevel that all buses stop at. As we bring in numerous customers to them every week, I fortunately receive a complimentary bag of chips, baguette sandwich and water. Last week the woman even gave me a bar of chocolate free of charge. Once we arrived in resort I took a moment to kiss the ground and realize that I hadn't gotten sick on any of the guests. I then quickly helped unload the luggage and place them and their gear in their respective vans. More worried about getting everything done efficiently, I took off my Esprit bag and placed it a bit in front of the bus. I told Auguste, the driver to stay put as I was unloading. Unfortunately, he didn't feel like hanging around and drove right over my bag. My beloved Sigg water bottle exploded, as did my chips, and everything else. Luckily my iPod made it. I would have cried otherwise. It was quite a scene. I think it set the precedence for the remainder of the week.

After having worked till midnight on Sunday I was toast. I was convinced that the week was going to get better. Unfortunately the week was followed by numerous nuisances that I would have loved to have avoided. Our oven broke on the second night. Anyone who has ever run a restaurant, knows that this means. Its a fucking disaster and you might as well close up shop. What else? Oh, the hot water boilers broke. Apparently Patrice and Jos have been waiting for this elusive part for over a week now and it has not arrived. As the boilers are missing this integral part, 3 out of the 70 people are able to get a warm shower before it starts spraying ice. You can imagine how annoying that is after a long day in the snow. You can also imagine how many guests I had to talk to and offer my condolences. What else? My assistant chef is full of shit and cannot even manage to cook a microwavable meal. Although he is nice, I have informed the higher ups that if he isn't out, that I am walking. I am not interested in adding "management of a kitchen" to my roster of things to do here. A chef should be able to cook and should not be asking me what goes in the meals. He should also not be trying to figure out what dairy free and gluten free meals are. He spends more time trying to explain slavery to my wait staff during dinner than he does ensuring that the meat is thoroughly cooked. It is a nightmare. Luckily my head chef is amazing and managed to carry the weight the entire week. Unfortunately, he broke his collarbone yesterday during his first day on the slope and is now heading home. Thus, this week has been a bit of a disaster. I figure though that we might as well get all of this out of our system as this will ensure that the rest of the season is flawless.

The reason I say that this week has been a mix been une cauchmar and brilliance, is that even with all of the shit hitting the fan, I have managed to get in about 2 hours of skiing each day. There is something to be said for being on the slopes. I get out and manage to forget the complaints, the asshole guests, or the broken ovens. After the first day of hell, I loaded up my iPod and hit the slopes at 2pm. All I have to do is walk across the street, go up a 2 minute escalator, and I am on the slope. I had toyed with the idea of just staying in bed and sleeping through the day of hell. I assumed that the snow had all been tracked out by 2 and that it would not be worth it. Luckily, I persevered and went out. Most of the snow in 1650(where I live) was untracked and it turned out to be the best thing. I felt like a new person after that and as though I could deal with any and all.

Today was our staff day off. I slept till 11 am and then all 10 of us hit the slopes. The ski area is by far the largest ski area I have ever seen. This area beats Ischgl and Chamonix numerous times. Once it starts snowing, I dont think I will spend the entire day repeating a run. I have managed to make my way into the boy circle, a team of 6 dudes who can rip it up. The style that the brits ski is different than the style I am used to in the states. 6 out of the 10 staff here are all phenomenal skiers. What I like most about it is the fact that you would not know it. They dont talk about how good they are, they just do it. I love it.

After a couple of hours on the piste I came home for a well deserved nap. I headed out to dinner after with my roommate Emma and we ended up at the Boullotte next door and quickly found ourselves partaking in the best apres ski ever. As all of the seasonaires in Courchevel have Thursdays off, everyone comes out and gets lit. There is a live band that is absolutely brilliant. All of the seasonaires were wasted and rocking out in their gear. The band started playing random Irish Christmas songs at the end of their set. Before the last song, they had everyone count down from 10 and we all celebrated New Years. I think the band was more wasted than the audience. Being part of that made me realize yet again why I am here. Even though ovens break, chefs suck, hot water can be non-existent, and guests can blow, it is all worth it. Being here and being part of this is brilliant.

The sister city of Park City, Utah

We all spent our last night in Les Arcs at Whistler's, the best bar in town. When I say its the best, I base my assessment on the fact that it is the only place that had wireless Internet in the town and the bartenders wouldn't let me pay for any drinks. On my last night they cornered me and asked me if I wanted to work there. I told them that if Courchevel doesn't work out for me that I will be back to make some Seven and Sevens for them.

We left Les Arcs Monday morning and arrived shortly after 1 in Courchevel. We had all been looking forward to this day since we arrived in Les Arcs a week ago. I was mostly looking forward to meeting my new home and finally unpacking my luggage. I have been living out of a suitcase for close to 4 weeks and it was getting a bit cumbersome.

Driving into Courchevel, I noticed that there was a sign indicating that it is the sister city of Park City, Utah. I have never been to Park City, thus, I am unable to determine whether or not my new home has any sort of resemblance to the American city.

When we arrived, we were greeted by a magestic wonder that isnt really a Chalet. It is more like a hotel. It is a five storied beaute that they call a Chalet. It can hold 77 people. If I were a guest looking for some adventure in the Alps, this would be the place I would want to stay. The views from the Chalet are stunning. I have never seen something like this before. Our accommodations are stunning as well. I am sharing a room with Emma, a 21 year old from somewhere in England. She is 21 but is way more advanced than I was at that age. I remember thinking I was mature at 21; however, let's all be honest, at 21 I was a hot mess, sans the hot.

After we unpacked on Monday, we walked around the city and tried to familiarize ourselves with the place that is going to be our home for the next 5 months. We were all wearing our uniforms, which I can attest are pretty cool, and it was quite interesting to witness the reception that we received from the shop owners and town dwellers. As the ski season does not officially start until Saturday, all of the shops are working on setting up their stores. The city is quite empty so all you see are the seasonaires. Everyone gets to know everyone and it is a great feeling when you walk into a shop and are greeted by fellow snow lovers who are interested in getting to know you and offer you good deals on anything since they know that you will return the favor by sending your guests to them.

I am in love with my team. All of the kids are absolutely great. My team consists of Alex who is the head chef and Luke who is the assistant chef. Alex possesses by far, the best laugh that I have ever heard. He is always in a good mood and is always up for anything. Luke is originally from Ireland but has spent the past several years in South Africa. He could write a novel with the stories that he has acquired. Then we have Emma, Jess, Jo, Jamie, Ian, and Jack. Jack is our kitchen porter and rocks a fro. Jess is an 18 year old hippie. She talks and laughs like my cousin Desi. I love her. Ian is a cunning, beer loving, computer programmer. I love him. Jo is the 18 year old savant who I shared a room with during training. She is going to Cambridge next year. I love her. The manager of the chalets is Frankie. She is a 24 year old from London. She is one of those people who doesnt expect you to do all the dirty work. She is one of those who gets in there with you and does it as well. I love her. Our resort manager, Mike, is from Ireland and I understand about 4 out of every 26 words that come out of this mouth. I have to ask him to repeat himself everytime we talk. The only thing I understand is when he says "Fuck." I bust out laughing everytime he says it because it sounds nothing like it does when I say it. I think he thinks I am retarded. I love him too.

Turns out that I have become the translator for my miniature team of Brits. This is my favorite part of my job. I feel like I am constantly learning. I love it. As the owners of this Chalet, Patrice and Jos, are French, they are always around and are always willing to answer all of the questions that I have. They are also extremely eager to ensure that we understand that this Chalet is their baby and that we must look after it. I understand. If I had a place like this, I wouldn't let anyone inside. Patrice is my favorite already and it is quite obvious that his wife Jocelyn wears the pants in the relationship. It is hilarious. Everyone in my company is scared of Jos because she tells them they shouldn't drop rocks on her new marble floor...things of that nature. I like her and we get along. Today I spent some time trying to explain to them that the dishwasher is missing a hose and that their are 17beds that are missing their legs. At least this is the point that I was hoping to get across to them. Looking back on the conversation, I think I might have told them that I am a cat lady and live with 17 cats, some of which I shove in the dishwasher so I can clean them efficiently.

I have every Thursday off. Sundays are what we in the industry call transfer day. It is the day when the current guests depart and the new ones arrive. It is know to be quite a hectic day and will require that we work long, long hours. Luckily I am taking over part of the rep job so I will be spending most of time picking people up from the airport on Sundays. I am looking forward to that.

Tomorrow we are heading up to the hills for a well deserved day off. We have turned this hotel around in 3 days and it looks fantastic. I feel like I have been waiting for this day for so long. I am so excited, I do not think that I will be able to sleep tonight.

I remember the feeling I had when I was in Chamonix and how I promised myself that I would be back for the following season. I knew I wanted to and needed to work a full season in the Alps. I am so thankful that I went for it. After stepping out onto my balcony here in Courchevel I knew that I had made the best decision of my life. Walking across the street to the local grocery store to get my daily chocolate bar, I am greeted by the surrounding mountains. Every morning I am greeted by the most amazing sunrise I have seen. The same goes for the evenings, the sunsets are spectacular. Being able to have a conversation with the owner of the cafe about the status of the snow, in French, is a great feeling. I have loved every second of this so called operation and I am pretty sure that will not change. I love the town. I love the group of people I am with. I love my job. I love the mountains. I love the French villagers. I love my Chalet. I love my room. I love everything. This is an opportunity that I would have regretted had I not taken it.

I have posted the pictures that I have taken so far of Courchevel to Picasa. All of the pictures were taken from my balcony.

http://picasaweb.google.com/ohalfen/CourchevelBeginnings#

I hope you are all well. I miss you!

Go va-fanculo yourselves...

From the moment I met my bosses, my staff, and stepped into the snow I knew that I had made the correct decision. However, after my employers response to my feedback regarding a food demo that was led by 2 20 year old douche bags, I was 2 courses away from telling them all to va-fanculo themselves.

It all started during a food demo that I voluntarily attended on Wednesday. The two douche bag chefs made numerous negative comments towards gays that did not work for me. Consequentially, I walked out of the demo and ended up sitting down with my boss and my area manager so that I could voice my concerns. Turns out these two douche bags tried to cover their asses by complaining that I had walked out.

After some pints of beer, parfait, and 2 days, I still want to kick both of them in the nads. Repeatedly. In response to their ignorance, I submitted the following letter to the head of catering for the company that I am currently employed by. If this happens again, I will be turning in my plastic name tag, XL fleece, XL jacket, and clipboard. I might be living under a bridge by the end of the week. Dont care.

Dear David Craig,

Today, Wednesday, December 2nd, I, Olivia Ulrike Halfen, the Front House Supervisor for Cascades 1650 voluntarily attended the food demo session that was run by Oly and Matt.

The previous session that I attended was professional, informative, and enjoyable. Thus, I was looking forward to the session today. Before the session commenced, Oly and Matt requested that everyone stand up, introduce themselves, state the job that they held before they joined ESPRIT. I estimated that 75%, if not more, of the participants were between the ages of 18 and 20 and had either just finished school or had not had a proper job before being employed at ESPRIT. As these new hires are young, they are also extremely impressionable.

Half an hour into the session Oly and Matt began making negative references about gay people. During the session they even made jokes concerning anal sex and refereed to the improper use of bananas.After their first round of comments, I asked whether there was a problem with being gay. Neither one responded and continued with their comments as well as the demo.

While the negative jokes progressed, I turned to my colleague Emma and mentioned to her that I was appalled and found their jokes offensive. I asked her whether or not she deemed that this sort of behavior was accepted by ESPRIT. I also told her that if their jokes and ignorant remarks were to continue, that I was going to walk out of the session. While we were discussing this, Oly requested that we refrain from talking during the course. I obliged and they did not have to ask us again.

Halfway into the session, Russel and Maura joined the class. While they sat in on the class, the negative sexual banter and the gay jokes stopped. However, once they left around 4 PM, the negative jokes and the banter commenced again.

During their session I was forced to worry about what the new hires must be thinking about their new employer. What were they going to take away from this class? Were they being led to believe that ESPRIT condones such a behavior? Is there a member in the audience who is a homosexual? Is there a member in the audience who has been contemplating whether or not they can or should inform their new colleagues that they are homosexual? It was extremely obvious that neither one of them took this into consideration, nor did it seem to matter to them.

As I found the remarks extremely offensive and as I was not willing to sit through the demo and listen to both chefs berate their own co-workers, I walked out of the demo at 4:30. I hold myself to a higher standard than what was being presented during their demo and nor was I willing to waste any additional time listening to their ignorant comments.

Although I left, Emma stayed behind to complete the demo. Apparently after I left, they coerced some of the younger attendees to walk across the hall to Pedros, bring him sugar, and inform him that although he is gay, he was still liked. They also had the entire group chant and shout about the proposed sexuality of Pedros. This is shocking and upsetting.

As a former business manager and now as a current ESPRIT employee, I am ashamed and horrified by the comments that were said by both Oly and Matt. After having worked in a business environment for numerous years and after having been a manager myself for the past 3 year, I was appalled by what was being said. If they had been employed by me, they would have been terminated immediately. I do not tolerate such behavior and nor do I feel as though anyone should.

After having worked in various restaurants as a server and as well as a manager, I understand that there is an exclusive type of humor that is utilized and appreciated by chefs. I do not have a problem with this type of humorous long as it is kept to the confines of the kitchen. Whenever any types of negative views are expressed to a group of others in a teaching setting, this is when it becomes an issue. Oly and Matt had been instructed to teach the participants how to cook. They were not asked to be there to berate their colleagues sexuality, nor the sexuality of homosexuals.

Sexuality should not have been brought into this demo, nor should it ever be brought into any sort of professional environment.I do not think that the ignorant remarks were made by them present a positive company image. I do not want to contribute to a company that deems it appropriate to berate others based upon sex, religion, or race.

In the event that ESPRIT deems this type of behavior appropriate, please feel free to accept my resignation.

I appreciate your time and attention to this matter. I would also be more than happy to discuss this with you in person.

Sincerely,

Olivia Ulrike Halfen

You Alright???

It has taken me over a week to figure out the words that have been directed towards me daily. The first couple of times I heard this I could not even understand what people were saying to me due to their heavy accents, or my ignorance. I could merely respond by smiling whilst trying to mumble something in response. The following days, I responded by taking a look at myself and wondering whether I really did look that destroyed. However, one I finally figured out what was being asked, I was forced to become a bit insecure and wondered what portion of my Americaness was leaking through. By the time I finally realized what I was being asked, I was forced to ...

On Saturday, our last night in Chamonix, we were treated to a Gala dinner. We had been fed extremely well for the breakfast, lunch, and dinner during our entire stay. Alternatively, this dinner was even more exquisite. Before dinner we had an awards ceremony during which each of us had to present someone with an award. I was presented with the "Keenest Skier Award" as it was determined that I had traveled the farthest for fresh pow pow. I presented the "Honorary German Award" to someone. Apparently the UK stereotype of Germans is that they are always hungry and always manage to make sure they arrive at a buffet before everyone else. Fortunately, I was able to uphold this stereotype during my entire stay in Chamonix.

I am not in Courchevel yet. I am currently in Les Arcs and will be here until Monday. I am looking forward to arriving at my new 'home' so that I can finally refrain from living out of my suitcase. When I arrived here on Sunday it was warm and barren. It started dumping on Monday morning and it has not stopped. It has now become my winter wonderland. I am in heaven.

As soon as I arrived, I was greeted by my staff. Yes, I said staff. Staff. Staff. Staff. Staff. Staff. I am a boss and boy do I know what I am doing. Yes, I will be running a 77 person Chalet with 8 minions who are all under the age of 22. Super duper. In all fairness, my team is absolutely amazing and I could not have been blessed with a better group of kids. I have been told that I cant refer to them or any of the 'kids' who come on our holidays as kids are baby goats and thus should be referred to as children. Blah. Regardless I love my staff and I can tell that they are all devoted to working their asses off. Hopefully I can figure out what the hell my role is and all I need to know within the next week otherwise we might as well close up shop right now.

We start at 7 am in the morning and end at about 9PM at night after which I promptly proceed to my sleeping quarters. I am sharing a room with Jo, an 18 year old savant from England. I adore her.

Once our clients arrive, we will be serving them four course dinners. Hence, my team has been demoing the meals all week long. Thus, we have been eating four course meals for lunch and dinner. I never thought I would say this, but if I don't see another parfait or cheese bajhas, I wont complain.

Les Arcs is absolutely amazing. We are up in the mountains and all you see are mountains. I have included some pictures of the view from my balcony as well as my group of kids. Cheers

Torch vs. Flashlight

Chamonix a year later is just like I remembered it. The smell is what I missed the most. The fresh French mountain air. It has a special smell to it. The smell is difficult to describe. The smell has the initial impact of making one feel alive. There is nothing like it.

Today, towards the end of our training today, we started discussing the role that our night porter plays in the entire experiment. This discussion ultimately led to a fire box, which apparently in the UK, houses a whistle, a reflective jacket, contact numbers and most importantly a torch. This box is supposed to be the first thing that the night porter should grab in the event that there is a fire in the hotel or chalet. As they were going through and explaining the importance that the fire box plays, they kept referring to the torch and how it should be pulled out automatically and used if needed. Well in my dumb feeble mind I kept wondering why the hell one would want to use a torch to start another fire if one is already in the process of trying to put out the original fire. Dumb Brits I figured. Well, come to find out, I was the dumb American. Apparently a "torch" is actually what the Brits call a "flashlight." You can play out the scene in your mind of what occurred when the dumb American raised this intelligent question. Blah!

After training today I felt a bit drained. It may have partly been due to the fact that it is Thanksgiving and I was a bit homesick or because i realized that I was going to have to be responisible for the chalet. Who knows. I took off after training and got a bar of chocolate and walked around the city. I ran into another manager who turned out to be Italian. We spoke for a bit and quickly realized that her parents live on the street next to the one that I lived on when I was in Rome. After exchanging stories about each other in French, English, Italian, and German I sat back and realized why I was there. This whole experience is exactly what I have been looking for.

All of the hotel managers have been here for a week and a half and myself and the other two Front House Supervisors were just thrown into the mix yesterday. So far it has been quite a ride. As soon as I arrived yesterday afternoon, I was automatically greeted by everyone and welcomed by the team. 99.7% of people are Brits and Scotts with a couple exceptions; me, Marta the Italian, and Melanie the German girl. Everyone is truly great and I am pretty confident that I will get along with everyone until Sunday, when we all depart for our resorts. Its pretty refreshing to see that we are all here for the same reason and that is to board/ski.

I still have absolutely no clue as to what I will be doing for the next 5 months. The only item that I have gathered over the day of training today is that I unfortunately have an important role. I have tried to pass on my role to the dishwasher but he wouldn't have it. For some reason the chalet that I will be working in is the largest one that our company runs. Somehow they are under the impression that this chalet can be run with only 3 managers and for some reason they think that my non-existent hotel experience will assist in making this possible. They must not have understood during my interview, due to my thick American accent, when I stated that I was interested in skiing hard, not working hard. I plan on delegating anything and everything to my staff. They will all be given my non existent mobile number and they will be instructed to call me in case anything happens but not if the place is on fire because I wont know what to do with the torch.

PS. Evidently I will be driving a convoy of some of us to Les Arcs and Courchevel. I failed to tell them that I am an aggressive driver and cant read a map to save my life.

NI Number

According to Wikipedia, National Insurance was first introduced by the National Insurance Act of 1911. An NI number is a tax number and determines your tax contributions. Residents of the UK receive a NI number before their 16th birthday and use this number for their entire life. Citizens from abroad who want to work must apply for a NI number. Without this number, they will be unable to work in the UK or for a UK company. This explains my day trip to Edinburgh.

I had been fretting over getting an NI appointment as soon as I received my job offer. There are several stressful elements to obtaining an NI number. One must be able to claim a UK residency. Secondly, you must be present during the interview. Thirdly, the interview cannot be made until you arrived in the UK. Fourthly, you have to have all necessary paperwork available to present during your interview, otherwise you can forget it. Fifthly, one must be a UK or EU citizen. Fortunately for me, I believe I was able to check off and complete all pertinent steps without conducting in any fraudulent activities.

I flew up to Edinburgh from Koeln yesterday and had my appointment this morning. I had hired a company to assist me with this. They helped set up a UK bank account for me as well as this interview. I was initially planning on going to London for my interview, however, all appointments are booked until the middle of December. My only other option as I saw it was to fly to Edinburgh. Fortunately, they were able to get me in at the last moment.

I met with Stewart this morning. In usual German style, I arrived half and hour early. I was banking on the thought that this could possibly increase my chances of getting an NI number. Who am I kidding? I was nervous and wanted to get it over with. After chatting with Stewart about the weather, skiing, the nights he spent sleeping in a field outside of Koeln, we proceeded to the interview. I was asked all sorts of standard questions. As I am not a fraud, I was able to answer all. I think some elements of my story did seem a bit shady as I have resided at several addresses all over the world in the last month. I technically have two in Germany, one in Edinburgh, and two in Portland. Yes, they did want to know this and yes I did need to explain myself a bit. I tried my best not to stutter.

After half an hour of chatting, he determined that my paperwork was complete. It is now in the hands of the Department of Work and Pensions and I should hear back in 2 weeks as to whether or not I was granted a number. Luckily he told me that I had nothing to worry about and that I should take off and enjoy my time in France. Therefore, my two overweight bags and I am now on a train headed to London. I am flying out to Geneva tomorrow at 12:20 on Easy Jet's flight # EZY 8472. From the looks of it I wont be able to sleep tonight due to all the excitement.

The Bernis

Dear Bernie,

Although no one wants to tell me for fear that I will worry and will come home too early, I have heard through the grapevine that you miss me and that you wait for me by the front door in hopes that I will walk through. I wish I could say that I don't miss you and that I don't think about you, but that would be a blatant lie. I think about you daily and often seem to find myself referencing you during conversations with strangers. I brag about you to everyone I meet. I walk by other creatures of your nature and seem to marvel to myself how perfect you are. Although I haven't even been gone long, it feels as though I have not seen you for an eternity. I miss our long talks, our Forest Park excursions, our dog park adventures, as well as the times when I am sequestered to a corner of my bed because you are sprawled out from one side to the other. Hell, I miss it all. Even your flatulence problems. I hope you know that I will be back soon. Until then, just know that a day does not pass by without me having sent numerous thoughts your way. Spend the time enjoying all of the peanuts, eggs, and treats that grandma and grandpa lay before you. They love you so.

So, da gehe jetzt schlaffen mein kleines Schweinschen.

Bis bald mein Liebschen.

Livi

Christmas in November

http://picasaweb.google.com/ohalfen/GermanyNovember2009#

A whirlwind week in Germany has been had. Everything that I wanted to do was done. Never could I have ever imagined to have such an amazing time. With the assistance of Claud and Lars (Sugarlips), I have been reacquainted with Germany and have grown quite fond of it.They did everything in their power to make sure that I had a fabulous time. I have never been treated in a more hospitable manner than I was by my favorite sister and her German.

The week started off on a fabulous note when they made me Jaeger Schnitzel, my favorite German meal, the first night I arrived. Although I was groggy, I savored every single bite. It was by far the best Schnitzel I have ever eaten. Sorry mom. They drove me hours out of their way so I could visit my grandparents and so that I could meet the parents of Mr. Sugarlips and enjoy an evening of Raclette with them. They even took me to my hometown so that I could eat sausages and fries with my cousin Wolfie and his mom Maria. We spent the days going to dinner parties at their friends homes, walking through the entire city, and we even took a break to taste the world renowned Koelsch at a record number of bars. In between all of that, I spent the rest of the time eating the various types of cheese that Claud and Lars bought for me. I always considered myself to be a cheese connoisseur, however, after my first bite of 1 of the 6 cheese types that they bought, it clearly became apparent that I am out of my league around Lars and Claud. It was evident that Lars invented the game and I am merely lucky enough to be an ignorant participant. Never in my life have I eaten, let alone seen the type of French cheese that they crossed the border to buy for me. Thus, I proceeded to make cheese my main staple food and ate it for breakfast, lunch, dinner, and forth meal.

The rest of the week progressed just as the first day did. I was constantly pampered by my gracious hosts. Although the entire week was great, I have to say that Sunday was definitely the best day of the trip. It is a day that I will never forget. Since Wolfie had come to Koeln for the night, Sugarlips and Claud decided to make pancakes for breakfast. We all woke up to the smell of Lars' banana pancakes. As the aroma of the pancakes was wafting through the apartment, we were all questioning when they would be done so that we could stop wiping away the drool and start stuffing our faces instead. After brunch we decided to do what all Germans do on sunny Sundays and that is, stroll. We took off and headed down towards the river. Our cousins Julia and Florian were coming in from Bonn and were going to have coffee with us. I felt as though the six of us were one big happy family and just as normal as the other families who were partaking in the sunshine. We spent the afternoon sipping on coffee, hot chocolate, and of course Gluhwein, which is a German warm wine speciality that is served during Christmas time. After saying goodbye to our cousins and friends, Claud, Lars, and I headed home. I spent the time on the train contriving a plan as to how I was going to pack 2 suitcases worth of clothes and gear into one suitcase. Apparently while I was busy stressing out, Claud and Lars were busy determining how they were going to execute a plan that they had come up with weeks ago.

Once I was done packing, Lars asked me to do him a favor and run to the market to grab some extra vegetables. I politely obliged and headed out. When I returned 6 minutes later, I was greeted by Mariah Carey's, "All I want for Christmas," as I started to walk up the stairs to their apartment building. As a side note, this song is the favorite of Claud and I. We prefer to put it on repeat for hours. When I approached their apartment, the door was open, the lights were off, and candles were lit. As I entered the living room, I was greeted by both Claud and Lars and a decorated the Christmas tree. I will never forget the image of both of them standing in front of the tree and the gigantic smile on Clauds face. I was informed that as I was not going to be with them for Christmas that they felt it was necessary that they pre-celebrate Christmas with me. I immediately started crying. It still brings tears to my eyes as I recount this. I sat with amazement the entire night while we ate a three course meal, opened gifts, and laid on the couch drinking another fabulous bottle of wine, while listening to non standard Christmas songs. There is really nothing more to say except for the fact that this Christmas was by far the best Christmas I have ever had. I feel truly blessed and thankful for what the both of them did for me, not only for the Christmas they created for me but also for everything they did for me during the time I was there. It is a week I wont ever forget.

German Efficiency

I landed in Frankfurt, Germany half an hour early on Tuesday. As much as that airport scares me with its wee men and their machine guns, as well as the workers on their collapsible bikes, there is a serene feeling of home that overcomes me when I set foot in the Frankfurt airport. I have flown in and out of this airport at least 60 times and each time the smells, the sounds, and the sites manage to take hold of me as I walk through the illuminated halls.

When I checked my luggage in Portland I conveniently had to pay for the extra suitcase that was used to house my overweight luggage. The United woman, who kept reminding me of the woman on "Meet the Fockers," spent an excessive amount of time filling out unnecessary paperwork. I was glad I came early. Needless to say, her languid approach to her job prevented me from having the beer that I routinely have before any international flight. Regardless, I made it on the plane and so did my luggage this time. Or so I convinced myself. When I arrived in Frankfurt, I quickly proceeded to the baggage claim, only to be greeted by an empty belt that did not hold either one of my three bags. Fortunately, this has happened to me before, thus, I quickly sprung into action and proceeded to the usual counter. When I explained to the woman that my bags were not there, she kindly reminded me that I had been scheduled to take the train to Koln. Since Claud, my favorite sister that she is, had volunteered to pick me up at the airport, I was able to bypass having to deal with the train and my cumbersome luggage. The woman then proceeded to say, "Well your bags are waiting for you at the train station, of course." Well of course, why didn't I think of that? I should have remembered what country I was in. Germany's constitution preaches efficiency and bans those individuals who practice any alternative. Why wouldn't my bags be waiting for me in front of my train? Why wouldn't they have anticipated that I was going to be exhausted from my flight and not interested in schlepping my 3 bags across the street, around bystanders, and up an escalator? Fabulous! After I received my bags, we were informed that we were going to have to proceed through customs in case I needed to declare any goods. When she pointed us in the direction of customs, Claud and I just started laughing hysterically. In the most inoffensive and discrete manner of course. See the picture and you can decide for yourself.

What if we had to declare something? Who would we declare it to?